What’s up everybody, its Cr1tikal, and I’m playing Sburb…
this fucking denizen can kiss my rock hard ass cheeks
im going to backhand jack noir into the fuck dimension
im going to alchemize my nipples with my my fists and create the worlds most devestating weapon anyone has ever been in the same dimensional plane with at the same time
You are FIRO PROCHAINEZO, the youngest member of the Martillo family and a promising new recruit for the Camorra. Solicitations for your service are numerous in quantity. Compensation, adequate. It is a balmy summer evening. You are feeling particularly immortal tonight.
What will you do?
JACUZZI notices a frightening playing card has slipped into the deck. He begins to cry.
>Chane: Grab the knife and let out terrifying battle cry.
You have no idea how or why your dagger turned into a teddy bear.
You are also unable to let out a terrifying battle cry, or even a pleasant battle cry for that matter, because you are a mute.
>Ladd: Bust into train car like Kool-Aid Man.
THANK YOU! FUCK YOU! THE VILLAIN HAS ARRIVED!
>Firo: AGH TOO CONFUSING, go online and search for plot summary
This is complete bullshit. You have no idea what year you’re in currently or how to solve these mixed timelines. You resolve to find a more linear explanation of what’s happening through good ol’ fucking google.